I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
