Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
