so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
