Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Pooping to opera.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
