I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize