worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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