You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
