Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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