Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
