Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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