you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
