There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
do herpes really smell.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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