Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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