i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
