I wanna bring you to show and tell
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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