Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
