walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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