she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
