you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
