I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
