Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
