It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
