if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
