Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
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Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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