Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
