Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize