i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
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