its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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