ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
