She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
