That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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