you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
