absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So vagazzling was a success
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
