her vagine was all disorganized.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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