Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
