I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize