Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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