i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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