So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize