my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
