imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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