Nicole vs. Life
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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