I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
