My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
