its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
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High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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