She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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