I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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