Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
