..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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