so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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