PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
