She is in my trunk
i think my mom watched the whole time
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
