So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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