used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
