I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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