Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think my moral compass just broke
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