hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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