pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
