I will die if light touches me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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