I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
