did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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