I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
