i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
