Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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