Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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