Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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