yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
